Many of my blogs are about the struggles I go through, what I’ve been dealing with for the past year and a half. The reason I choose to focus on that is because it isn’t talked about enough. It’s not talked about enough in our communities and survivors need to know that they are ok, what they are experiencing is completely normal.
I want survivors to know that sometimes life can feel completely homeless, but it does get better. You can get through this and you can heal. The abuse we suffered is only one chapter in a giant book of our life. As we move on, we grow, we heal, we change and new light is brought into our lives.
Within the past month so many things have happened. I am now engaged to the man of my dreams, something I knew I wanted from the moment I met him, we just moved into our first condo together this past weekend and not only do I get him in the engagement, I also get his amazing family which now includes a little niece who was born in April!
One question I get often is if there is love after abuse and I can tell you without doubt there is. Sometimes it may be work-in-progress moments because of what we go through as we heal, but it is worth it. My partner is so beyond supportive, there aren’t words enough for the things he does for me. He listens to me every time I need him, he’ll call me if he ever things I’m upset, he helps me through triggers, he works through my anxiety and so much more.
While yes, we as survivors can heal on our own and I know that I am strong enough to do that, having a support system whether it is a partner, friends or family, that is something that every survivor needs when it gets hard. I am lucky to have a great group of friends and family who support me like they do. My partner is around most of my triggers due to the nature of our relationship and the amount of time we spend together. Without his love and support, I think it would take me a lot longer to heal. He is my hero.
Communication is the most important aspect to any relationship, but especially the ones we enter in after our abuse. This is something I struggle with because so often I feel as though I’m being a problem, I’m causing and issue and, while my finance loves me and care for me as I should be loved and cared for, I’m still conditioned to fear a punishment. That conditioning takes time to break. We talk about everything and he makes sure we talk about it and that I always know he is there for me.
We had to have discussions about my triggers and my anxiety. We had to figure out how to combat them, we had to learn what my triggers are. It was a giant learning curve that took a while to get used to and to be quite honest, we’re in the process of not only learning what other couples learn when they first move in together, we’re in the process of learning about my abuse fall out. That’s perfectly ok. I know I’m healing and I know it’s getting better.
I wanted to share the happiness in my life with all of you. I know it can get to the point where you feel completely out of control, helpless and hopeless. Trust me, I still feel those moments at times where I just don’t see anything positive around me or in 
my life. I do want you to know that you can get through it. Find the support groups in your life and remember, there is a massive community of survivors out there going through very similar things and we are all here to love and support each other. Just adjust your sails and power through it. You have the strength, courage and ability to conquer anything in your life and your abuser no longer holds control over you. You got this ♥
If you have questions or a topic you’d like me to blog about, just email me at reclaimingme1@gmail.com
Reclaiming Me 