Even though I check out of social media for the most part this weekend I still heard about Amber Head and Johnny Depp. He now has domestic violence allegations against him.
While I know many group have been posting this already, but the moment Head came about about these allegations so many people immediately called her a liar, gold digger, an over dramatic woman and more and people wonder why domestic violence and sexual assault victims don’t come out? We are constantly in fear of being blamed for what happened to us, to be called liars, whores, asking for it, gold diggers. It took me a long time to get over that fear of being blamed for what someone chose to do to me and to be honest, sometimes I still feel that fear.
The only people who truly know what happened, or at least know the details pertaining to these allegations are Head, Depp, the police and the court. Still, the media slants the story, putting out any scrap of information (whether it’s true or false) and our society lashes out against the victim with such fervor. The funny thing is, no one questioned Depp, no one has called him a liar. Just like no one called Cosby a liar or Patrick Kane a liar or Woody Allen or Ray Rice (until people actually saw a video) any other celebrity who faced sexual assault or domestic violence allegations. Everyone always automatically assumes the victim is a liar.
Realistically, wouldn’t you think if someone actually perpetrated a crime they would be the ones lying about it? Who had committed a crime where their victim publicly accused them and they just said “Yep. It was me, I did it, I committed the crime.” They would have more incentive to lie than a victim.
I know part if it is our societies inability to believe our idols or people who bring such joy to our lives whether it be an actor or musician or other performer. I know it’s hard. I know when Cosby was first accused there was a part of me that was really upset hearing that. I grew up watching his show and his comedy routines (which were pretty regularly quoted in my house throughout my childhood) and it was hard hearing that. It even hurt a little, but no matter how shocked I was, I knew I couldn’t rule out the fact that he could be a criminal or that the victim is lying just because I liked who he played on TV. That is ridiculous. I knew everyone has the potential to be a criminal if they choose to commit a crime.
We have to learn as a society that we can’t just pick sides, we can’t throw potential victims under the bus by calling them liars but not consider that the alleged perpetrator is a liar just because we liked them in a movie or they play sports really well. We have to realize that we don’t know the fact and every single time we lash out at an victim, every time we shut them down, call them a liar, a gold digger, a whore, or whatever other horrible names you can come up with you are immediately silencing other victims. They see you destroying someone who is famous because you think you know them, what do you honestly think a “non-famous average person” victim expects you to do to them? Consider how your actions impact those around you. It is your choice to make a difference or follow ignorance and set that example for future generations.
Reclaiming Me 